So, we’re a little over a week into 2018, and I wanted to check in and see how it’s been for all my lovely readers? I hope it’s been better than mine, as I try to remain hopeful, some days are harder than others.
I’ve been sick, and I’ve got this annoying dry cough that’s worse at night and just won’t go away, and it makes sleep almost impossible. I kind of had like 3 meltdowns already. One of which involved really accepting that I have an incurable autoimmune disorder that’s going to affect me; physically, mentally, and emotionally, for the rest of my life. You’d think I would’ve accepted it by now, but I just haven’t. I still feel overwhelmed by it.
Mother Nature had a hissy fit and dropped this thing called a “cyclone bomb” (that’s meteorologist for ya, dropping big scary words to keep you watching and panicking) on pretty much all of the East Coast. Snow, temperatures in the single digits, wind chills in the negatives... it’s been awful. All I can think about are the homeless people and the animals, and my heart just breaks. I try not to think about it, because it’s too much for me to handle, but the beauty (sarcastic) of OCD is that you get these intrusive horrible thoughts ALL THE FRIGGIN TIME and I just imagine them in my head and I cry and cry and cry.
Speaking of animals, my Leopold has been sick for awhile, in and out of the vet, various tests and shots, and my vet concluded it’s either IBD or Hypothyroid. Wouldn’t that be something? Me and my cat being twinsies. No doubt he’s my baby, that’s for sure. He’s going to a specialist this week, and I’m prepared to put myself in debt forever if it means getting him better. I love all of my cats, but like all parents, I have a favorite, and Leopold is it. He’s my whole heart and soul. So, please say prayers for him.
Work has me forever stressed out and overwhelmed, and finding a new job has proven more difficult than I had anticipated. School has me even more overwhelmed, and sometimes it’s hard to juggle both. Add that to the Hashi’s brain fog, the acne my stress and jacked up hormone levels are causing, and the fact that my cats wake me up at 4am every day, so my sleep sucks, and I’m just feeling fantastic. 👌🏼👎🏼
This is really just the tip of the iceberg, and going into further detail isn’t necessary. However, my therapist always says: acknowledge the negative, feel it, but always add a positive. So, here goes my positives:
So, yes, I stepped into 2018 with essentially all of 2017’s problems, despite my cool WordPorn photo I used in my last post. But, I’m trying, and if your year has started like mine, don’t give up. We have a little less than 365 to make the difference we want, let’s do it together.